Do you how do I get over a work crush? Are you struggling to know if is it normal to have a work crush? We’ve all been there – we stayed up late with a coworker, went through a few reports, and out of nowhere, their pants started to look great. And not only that, when they bend over you to get a better look at a document, you suddenly notice that it smells perfect. And not only that, after making a compelling point about meeting notes, you realize that they are pretty brilliant.
Oh no. You love them.
An office crush is a highly complicated thing to deal with. There is no other easy-going way to overcome the situation. Sharing your feelings could lead to personal injury and professional hardship. However, suffering and struggling in silence can also be problematic.
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A crush on the job can affect your attention span and your ability to focus on the task at hand, causing production to drop. Spending time stalking your sweetheart in the office and trying to find ways to start a conversation upsets your priorities and could jeopardize your career. Not to mention that the job could face severe obstacles if you lose the ability to collaborate effectively with someone in your company.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to prevent a crush from developing. Feelings hit us like a slap in the face, whether we like it or not. We pass most of our daily time at work so it’s natural to form relationships with those we interact and talk with on a daily basis. These working relationships can help advance our careers, even if a crush can sometimes stop this momentum. So how do you cope with these awkward feelings?
How do we put an end to those nostalgic stares across the boardroom? If revealing how you’re feeling isn’t an option, there are a few helpful steps you can take to overcome an office crush, with minimal consequences.
How Do I Get Over A Work Crush?
1. Talk to someone outside the office
We often work so closely with some people that they become like our husbands and workers. We develop close emotional bonds with these people, apart from the romantic aspects, and count on them for their help and give you advice in professional and personal situations. But when you feel like it, it’s time to reach out to friends outside of the office.
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Those who are not involved in your work will have a clearer picture of the situation. You want advice in your best interest, not tainted with office gossip. If talking to friends doesn’t suppress the urge, maybe it’s time to see a therapist. A professional person can help you get to the root of the problem and create a game plan for how to deal with feelings appropriately. It’s their job to help you analyze these difficult emotions, so sitting on that couch may be worth it.
2. Increase your social activities
Happy hours after work are fun to let off steam, but sharing a glass of wine with co-workers will only intensify deep feelings. Building a good social life outside of work will help distract you from your current situation and strengthen healthy friendships.
Pursuing a hobby, creating a giant social circle, and joining a club or league will give you a more positive orientation. Sharing interests that are non-work-related interests with others will help you socialize and feel less alone. Maybe you’ll even meet someone nice (and slightly more appropriate).
3. Separate fantasy from reality
Seeing someone excel at work can create admiration and respect. It can also produce all kinds of boring fantasies. The more elusive a person is, the easier it is to build a whole narrative around them. All you know is maybe the cutest, funniest person, with super cool interests that are the same as yours! Wrong.
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Everyone is human, with their weaknesses and faults. Once you really know someone beneath the surface interaction, this is rarely what you expected. Please note that you only see this person in a professional environment. They’re smartly dressed and ready for work, not sitting on the couch in dirty pajamas eating old take-out.
4. Express your feelings through art
Hiding your day-to-day feelings can make you feel helpless and out of control. A great way to control these emotions is to turn them into art. Let your feelings inspire productive behavior, and they will seem more manageable to you. Write a song, a story, or paint a picture. Don’t you feel inclined towards art? Journal of your feelings before bed.
The journal has many health benefits and can help with stress and depression. Channeling that energy into something productive and positive will make it easier for you to get over the person you like and move on with your life.
5. Remember that these feelings don’t define you
Give yourself a preparation talk: You are strong, attractive, and intelligent. This person’s charm may simply be that they are unavailable, only made worse by the forbidden nature of the relationship. Sure, kissing the copier would be nice, but losing your job probably isn’t worth it. Remember how much effort and to struggle you put into getting to where you are today. This crush tells you it’s time to invest more in yourself. Refocus on your goals and dreams. You are more than feelings, and over time, they will fade. Focus on the lifestyle you have now, not the hypothetical you might have with that crush.
6. Set limits
Another measure to minimize crushing is setting rules for handling it in everyday life. Setting boundaries that limit your interaction or thinking will help you take control of the situation. Crushes aren’t always unprovoked – we all love to flirt, whether we’re available or not. If your crush is flirting with you, only interact with them in groups to keep things professional. It can be awkward at first, but it can help reduce emotions in the workplace.
7. Open up or pull out
So you tried everything but a cold shower and threw the stapler at his head. And now?
At this crossroads, as in the game (game with the heart), either hold them or bend them. Consider stepping away from the situation altogether for an extended vacation or finding a new job. If you don’t like them, maybe it’s time to tell the person you want how you really feel.
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If your company allows you to hang out with co-workers, take the plunge and have this honest conversation. People go out and marry the people they work with all the time – you just have to look at Hollywood. While this tends to complicate matters, look at Hollywood.