Is it normal to have crush on someone though you are in a committed relationship? Having a crush on a person other than your partner during a relationship
is entirely normal. And that doesn’t mean you’re a sleazy girl or a bad husband or that your relationship is in shambles. It is usual for people in a relationship to develop crushes, especially after a couple has been together for a while.
“This is very normal, and maybe it has nothing to do with happiness in the relationship in general,” Crushes make people attractive and lively, and people often get them even when they are very. busy with their partners, but the relationship is no longer in this weak honeymoon phase. “
Being in a relationship does not mean that you suddenly stop meeting or noticing attractive and attractive people in the world.
You will not stop noticing or being attracted to other people because these feelings are automatic and frankly out of our control,
What’s in your control is how you deal with the crush. Are you obsessed with it, or do you recognize it and then move on with your life?
“It’s a choice of flirt, dream and fantasize about that person or chooses to have more contact with her. In other words, a beginning attraction may be inevitable, but cultivating that attraction through thought and action is up to you. “
Below, dating experts explain why crushes can developin a relationship when these crushes cross the line, and what if you think your crush has become something more serious.
What does it mean if you start developing a crush?
In general, a crush – if it’s just that – is harmless and doesn’t necessarily indicate an underlying problem in the relationship.
“Having a crush does not mean a person wants to get out of the relationship they’re in. But when you choose to feed off that crush, there’s likely a reason why you’re doing it. This may be due to something you struggle with personally (for example, you have a history of self-sabotaging when things get serious at a stage), or maybe you are trying to scratch an itch that your current relationship does. Is not satisfactory.
“People often talk about a crush to meet needs that are not met in the committed relationship. For example, the association has become routine or dull, but their interactions with their crush are fun and exciting. Or their partner does not share an interest in movies, but the crush loves movies and wants to share about them all the time. People often speak of a crush to meet unmet needs in a committed relationship.
Perhaps you feel suffocated by your current partner and seek an escape. Or, maybe, you’ve been going through a rough time in the relationship where you and your partner aren’t connecting or communicating openly. In other cases, a crush can be an attempt to make your partner jealous or make you pay more attention if they feel neglected.
“Relationship deficits, whether temporary or permanent, could make a crush much more appealing.”
Take some time to think about why you have a crush on this particular person. It may have anything more to do with you and your family or bond history than with the person.
“For example, a woman who has a crush on an older man who is an authority figure may want the approval of a parent, or a socially anxious man who has a crush on an outgoing coworker may fantasize. With the help of someone more outgoing woman, could be more confident.
So when does a crush crosses a line?
A crush that starts innocently might begin crossing the line into emotional relationship territory if left unchecked. A telltale sign: when you receive news, good or bad, is it your first instinct to tell your lover or partner?
“A mentor once said, ‘You know everything is going well when your partner is the first person you want to break the good news too, and the first person you want to break the bad news to is your confidant. Your favorite? Suppose your crush starts to compromise the physical or emotional intimacy.
In that case, you have with your primary relationship, or if you fuel fantasies about what will happen, you are in dangerous territory.
It is good to be true to yourself. In your heart deep down, is it really “just a crush,” or is there something more?
There’s a pretty clear line between an emotional relationship and a crush: “Plus, it’s not possible to have a crush on someone you’ve been involved with before. This is called a story. A crush is not an excuse. exceed the limit behind the significant other. “
So what should you do if you think your feelings are more serious? To begin with, don’t reveal it to your crush.
This can make things awkward because the other person feels obligated to feel the same or react., don’t get crushed under the influence of alcohol Plan a strategy for getting out of a social situation.
If things are going in a direction, the line could be crossed by a therapist.
Would you ever talk to your partner about love at first sight?
There is no black and white answer here. It relies on you, your partner, and what kind of relationship you have.
“Some partners may like it and feel exciting to think that you are flirting with someone else, especially if they are very confident and confident. “Other partners will be deeply hurt. You probably know whether or not your partner finds hearing about your inner world and past relationships threatening or not.”
Another thing to consider is why you feel obligated or don’t feel compelled to reveal a crush.
“Telling your partner is better for you because it reduces your guilt and discomfort, or better for him because he can confirm his suspicions and know who he is with?”
“If it’s only good for you and it’s causing them excessive pain, maybe it’s best to keep it to yourself.” If you genuinely believe it will benefit your partner, you might want to say so even if it makes you uncomfortable. “
And one more thing to know well: When crushes go too far, they divert significant attention and energy from the real problem, whether it is a personal problem that you are dealing with. You are struggling, or something is wrong.
“Energy has to go towards internal conflicts or to problem-solve within the relationship, not towards external distraction, no matter how fun it is. way, each is a higher priority than flirting with a crush.”
Your emotions might confuse things, and a third person might help you sort things out.